Childfree vs. Childless

Childlessness is the state of not having children, which may be by choice or circumstance, distinguished from voluntary childlessness, which will be referred to here as Childfree. An individual/couple may remain childless cause of reasons such as infertility, poverty-driven, have not met a partner with whom they would like to have children. Childfree, unlike childlessness, is a conscious decision. In most societies, choosing not to have children was both difficult and undesirable. The availability of reliable contraception along with support provided in old age by one's government rather than one's family has made childlessness an option for some people. Below are a few of the broad categories and reasoning under which one may want to choose to remain childfree.

Personal and social - Simply not wanting to have children, testimonies of parents who regret having children, Other possibilities in life opening up due to the lack of children, Lack of desire to perpetuate one's family line, Unwillingness to sacrifice freedom and independence, Preference of having a pet over a child, Unwillingness to disrupt one's current career orientation and intellectual pursuits, not having to repeatedly clean up a child's mess, the view that children are egocentric and difficult to handle, Situation where one's partner already has children from a previous relationship and one does not have a need to bear additional children, partner does not want children, Concerns over the effects pregnancy has on the woman's body, Disapproval of perfectionist attitudes towards child-rearing in modern societies, expectations of increasing parental investment per child, dislike of dedicated parents.

Psychological and medical – Fear of sleep disruption, substantial neurobiological changes leading to postpartum depression, The health of one's partner does not allow for children, Personal well-being, one already has enough problems of one's own, Not feeling the 'biological clock' ticking and having no maternal/paternal instincts or drives, fear of long-term stressful responsibility, fear that one will give birth to a disabled child and taking care of whom is challenging, hard to pay for childcare.

Economic and cultural - Modern welfare programs negate the need for children, the rising cost of raising a child, Parental leaves are too short, Not having a support network, especially when one is at risk of becoming a single parent. As a result of women's education, and rising workforce participation, Women no longer need to marry and bear children in order to be economically secure, Transition from traditional and communal values towards expressive individualism, growing awareness that childbearing is a choice, Declining support for traditional gender roles and that people need to have children in order to be successful, no need for care by one's own children when one is old. Having no children allows one to save more money for retirement.

Philosophical - Ability to invest some of the time and money saved by not raising children for other socially meaningful purposes. Belief that one can make an even greater contribution to humanity through one's work than through having children, Belief that one can better contribute to the welfare of existing people (including children) than to produce even more. Belief in a declining condition of the world and in the need to avoid subjecting a child to those negative conditions. Belief that people tend to have children for the wrong reasons (fear, social pressures). Belief that it is irresponsible to 'just try' what parenthood is like, with no turning back when one regrets the decision. Belief that one can still contribute to 'the education of children to become happy and empathic beings' that a society needs (for example, by being a teacher or babysitter) without being a parent oneself.

Environmental - Countering human overpopulation and its effects by not reproducing, the belief that having one fewer child reduces one's carbon dioxide emissions significantly compared to, for instance, owning a car with improved fuel efficiency, replacing incandescent light bulbs with more energy efficient models, avoiding air travel, practicing comprehensive recycling, or adopting a vegetarian diet, worries over the breakdown of civilization, putting non-human lives first.

Many times, in the past, I have been bothered by questions like you will need to bear children else who will look after you in old age? Where will you stay alone later etc? I plan my finance well to be able to afford an amazing retirement home and can form own tribe of like-minded, similar-aged population, of course, if they are not healthy enough to live on their own. One need not necessarily have children to nurse them till their life; rather for having a family together. Why do some parents see a child as an FD, which can be redeemed in old age?

The fear of staying alone in the old age is what compels most people to have children, whether they are mentally/financially/physically fit. There is a vicious cycle of forced life which is fed into the mind of every child since they are toddlers, top in the school->Get into professional college->Grab a well-paying job->marry a suitable groom/bride->have children and in between also buy house, buy car, and look after parents. No individual is complete without marriage and importantly children, even if they are the brightest human being in the world.

Remember our beloved late president APJ Abdul Kalam, who remained a bachelor throughout his life. In his autobiography, "Wings of Fire", he mentioned that human relationships were more complicated than rocket science. He wanted to remain alone so that his decisions regarding his job and life are never biased. He always treated every child as his own.

Society instantly tags couples who choose to remain childfree as selfish, who only want to enjoy their life. What exact favour we are doing bringing more and more population to the already over-populated over-polluted country? Why can’t an adult be eligible enough to take a decision about his/her life? In the name of society, why are we so much bound to obey their set timeline to marry, bear children? Research shows that there is a “happiness bump” that parents experience right after a baby is born. But that tends to dissipate over the course of a year. After that point in time, the levels of happiness of parents and non-parents gradually diverge, with non-parents generally growing happier over time.

One should take a conscious decision on this intricately sensitive part of life and decide best what they want and how, not what is needed from them.