Karwa Chauth or Kadva(Bitter) Chauth?

To give a little preview, “Karwa Chauth” is a festival celebrated by Hindu women of Northern, Western India and Madhya Pradesh in the third quarter of the year. The southern and Eastern states are more women-empowered, they may have a similar version like “Savitri Vrat” in a humbler and not-so-demanding way. The society believes the woman should follow her husband’s surname, habits, lifestyle etc. Post-marriage, the same society also demands the women to follow Karwa Chauth if it is a tradition in her home state and she is married to someone from a state where this is non-existent.

Married women observe a strict fast from sunrise to moonrise for the safety and longevity of their husbands. The fast begins at dawn and the fasting women do not eat or even drink water during the day till moonrise. They also perform various kinds of rites. In traditional observances of the fast, the fasting woman usually does no housework, adorns herself in good clothes and jewellery. The day passes in meeting friends and relatives and devouring a huge amount of rich food at the end of the day. Think of the pain a metro city working woman feels when she must wake up early, cook for the entire family while fasting herself, attend the office, come back, prepare for the evening, and wait till night even to drink a drop of water.

It is said that by fasting during Karwa Chauth, a wife believes she is extending her husband’s life, which is all a noble cause. But what about the wife’s life? No prayer or extension for the poor lady?

It seems only a female should be obliged to have a brother or a husband or a family and should be constantly observing traditions for their well-being through fasting and rituals. Guess this made sense in earlier eras when men went to war or hunting etc. Today’s men go for corporate war and they need more than just Karwa Chauth to save their lives. What today’s Indian men need is faithfulness for their wives, meditation, dieting, digital detoxification, teetotalism, and loads of exercise to live longer.

Namrata has never been a believer in rituals, especially the ones imposed by society. Rather than putting into forcible fasting and even worse, forcibly traditional makeup, décor; she would rather show her love and dedication in other practical forms like taking care of the house, ensuring the emotional well-being of Nitin, and becoming a true life-partner. She has been at times asked with raised eyebrows - “So… you do not fast for your husband? It is a custom at your in-law’s place.” If a celebrity like Priyanka Chopra can observe fast for her American husband, what is your excuse? We do not know at what level she follows it and surely, she does not have to worry about her household chores or a typical office routine that day. Moreover, such unrealistic celebrity comparisons put immense pressure on women.

If there could be a secret poll taken among all the married women observing this fast, broadly the categories would be from the below,

· Societal or communal pressure - After all “Log kya kahenge, hume to samaj main rehna hain.” (What people will say? We must stay in this society) takes over their own personal beliefs and comfort.

· Receiving the perks – Getting gifts, and jewellery is the main reason for many commodity-loving women. I am surprised that many flaunt the demands they have kept on their husbands and I secretly pray that the poor husband is still having a working heart paying for the bills the wife spends on that single day outfit, jewellery, makeup, mehendi, food and whatnot.

· For fun – Elite class women have a day outing for fun with their friends, gathering good food etc., just like another kitty party. After all, page 3 needs pictures too!

· Detoxification – Few like me follow it considering a way of detoxification for the whole system, as usually, nobody takes an effort to fast in such a difficult way otherwise. I used to do a no-water fasting once a year way back in my teenage, when I did not have to run to an office or take care of entire household chores. Now it is a juice day fasting.

· Peer pressure – Many women do it because their friends or colleagues do and they keep asking “Tum nahin karogi?, Tumhare sasural main bolte nahin?” (You won’t fast for your husband? Your in-laws don’t ask you to do?)

· In-law’s expectations – Especially when a married woman stays in a joint family, there is a huge pressure from the elderly women in the house to keep their so-called traditions alive.

· Hide issues in marriage – Pretend everything is great just by pretending to be one “Happy domestic goddess” with a fake smile, loads of married women symbols (sindoor, bangles, red saree, mehendi, mangalsutra, makeup) on just that day, even when the marriage may be on the rocks already.

· Religious belief – Plenty of women in India are quite religious, by family or by personal choice and they follow it as many other Hindu customs throughout the year. A close friend of mine has at least 2 fasting days in a week plus Sankranti plus Ekadashi plus all calendar events fasting going on. I already feel faint thinking about her fasting levels and a malnourished underweight body.

· Out of fear for the worst or guilt feeling – Ritualistic and traditional women out of fear observe the fast thinking they may be blamed if something ever happens to their husbands. The clan around them makes them feel terribly guilty if they don’t observe the fast as per the expectations; as if she is secretly planning for her beloved innocent husband to die a painful premature death.

· Truly because they love their husband – This percentage may be miniscule, but still there would be a handful of ladies out there who truly love their partners/husbands to wish them a long life.

You do not need just one day to show your love and respect for your significant other. You love him with your whole being every minute of every day of your entire married life. You pray for his well-being, whether you fast on this day, and a prayer surely does not lose its sincerity if it is offered on a full tummy. The ritual of fasting for a husband’s long life is regressive because the wife’s life should be equally valued. Besides, how can a wife’s fasting ensure that her hubby dearest will be around on this earth at least till she dies? Because, by that logic, Indian men would have the longest lifespan in the world, which is NOT the case. Men still need to wear a seat belt while driving a car and wear a helmet.

Specifically, the unwed girls, who are keeping the fast for their boyfriends or fiancées, first make sure that you’ll end up marrying the same person; else all your fasting will go in vain!