N&N – The little things

People generally tend to ignore little things, little details, and little gestures saying “Don’t sweat the small stuff. However, these little things are quite important in life and make it joyful. Little things show much about one’s character and culture. It shows a sense of humility and service for others, it shows discipline, and it highlights the importance of small things.

As a couple, below is a list of little things that has been making a big difference in N&N’s lives. A marriage is about care, patience, commitment and they put these tiny details to make their days lively.

· A vows list – A printed list of both sides’ commitment to small yet important things like checking on each other daily, meeting their friends independently, going on date nights and pursuing a physical activity/hobby together.

· An opportunity to be creative. Starting a diary, a blog together. Diary was Namrata’s initiative and the blog was Nitin’s idea.

In the diary, they have drawn both sides of family trees, list out all memorable dates, and places they want to visit and collect handwritten cards received during hotel stays.

· They write poems or notes for each other. They may email it; however, it is still composed by them.

· Smile at each other once you get up in the morning, say “Good morning” and cuddle in bed.

· They find ways to crack a joke and laugh together. Namrata laughed for days when Nitin one day suddenly showcased his moustache look.

· If any moment, one is angry; the other one ensures to maintain calm and never argues. They ensure that no disagreement stays till bedtime or even dinner time.

· They focus on having the meals peacefully, without TV or phones; enjoying every morsel.

· Show a smile to each other throughout the day, even during video calls when far apart. Smiles convey a lot of warmth, which even words fail to say.

· See off your spouse when he/she leaves for work if possible and wave goodbye wishing a good day ahead.

· An evening nearby trip for tea and a chance to walk together. They both just find excuses for walks together.

· Sunday meditation and yoga together. They get up early and join the yoga group at the nearby Art of living centre, which is about 2 hrs duration.

· An embrace that lasts just a little longer than usual. Whenever Nitin leaves home for trips or comes back home, Namrata hugs him tighter than usual closing her eyes while thanking the universe to make his journey successful and keeping him safe.

· A small change to their routine to make their day feel exciting. The rare times when Nitin is at home on a weekday, they randomly plan a mall visit, visit a friend etc.

· A snack or beverage you savour. Nitin has a soft spot for a simple, homemade meal and Indian tea. Namrata’s weakness is chocolate truffle cake. They both love to sip homemade mocktails and ice tea. Every Sunday, they travel to the nearby local farmer’s market to drink fresh sugarcane juice to their heart’s content.

· A beautiful sunset or sunrise. Regular morning/evening walk on their apartment terrace and looking at the nearby greenery is bliss. They have huge trees surrounding with beehives and parakeets.

· Playing a game you loved as a child. They play sudoku, and ludo.

· Hit the sack a little earlier one night and see how this changes their day. They finish dinner close by sunset when at home and try to sleep by 9PM. This way, they feel rejuvenated the next day early morning. They usually have no afternoon tea/snacking, rather dinner by 7PM.

· Fresh, homemade food. In the generation of restaurant and online food delivery, they both prefer homemade food, mocktails, and snacks. Namrata even bakes cakes, and makes all chutneys, candies, Amla murabba, dosa batter, etc at home. She likes to spend more time in the kitchen than on the phone or TV, than complaining about not having enough time to pursue any hobbies or household work.

· A five-minute massage. Nitin loves to have a foot massage by her and Namrata just adores the oil head-massage by him.

· Ten minutes with an animal, a day. Petting an animal is quite meditative. Daily, either of them checks on Chintu(The adopted Indie dog in the apartment), feeding him biscuits or anything edible for a dog. Namrata regularly combs or bathes him as well.

· Nitin loves to play piano at any time of the day, when at home. Namrata tries to be around to listen and ask him to play any particular song.

· Namrata tries to prepare one special dish; every time Nitin is back home from the trip. It could be rasgulla, rabri, shahi tukda or savoury dish like pasta, garlic bread, potato pizza etc.

· Nitin prefers to have small and frequent meals and so she prepares eatables accordingly.

· Nitin knows that Namrata likes to have some “Me time” at home and he ensures that she gets that especially when in the kitchen.

· Nitin being socially active, they frequently plan to meet close friends. A physical meeting is always preferred over phone conversations.

· They are not fearful of each other, and neither does anything forcibly to make the other person happy

· Nitin takes care of the driving and maintaining the car and Namrata looks after the food, drinks, and comforts inside.

· At times they love to binge on Netflix etc, but not at the cost of eyesight or health. Their sleep takes priority over anything or anyone. No late-night pubs or parties for them either.

· They communicate clearly and multiple times a day about every small detail. They discuss and understand other person’s likings as theyll.

· They don’t have a TV in the bedroom or near the dining area. They both agree that even in the future, it will be the same. There is no dish TV connection either.

· They keep both their phones outside the bedroom at night. There is no other electronic gadget, even a clock inside the bedroom. They can hear the phone alarm in the morning to wake up on time. Nitin has picked up this habit from Namrata. From time to time, she switches off or puts the phone on flight mode at night.

· They do most of the household work as a team when at home. They have no dependency on anyone for physical services like a maid, cook, driver, or car cleaning person.

· They write and review their monthly expenses at the end of every month, to keep a check. Every quarter or so, they discuss their budget and plan accordingly.